What is Club de Fromage?
Club De Fromage was brought to the bright lights of London by one of the most respected men in the history of clubs: The Legendary Fat Tony. He was a man of vision who from an early age strove to give the people what they wanted: cheap beer, silly costumes and music they can sing along to whilst eating a kebab. Fat Tony counted among his close friends such luminaries of the showbiz world as Peter Stringfellow, Tony Blackburn and Fern Britton and was romantically linked to such screen sirens as Su Pollard, Hattie Jaques and Molly Sugden.
Tony fell on hard times, doing three years at Her Majesty’s Pleasure in Holloway prison at one point. This miscarriage of justice occurred when Tony’s last club ‘The Bridlington Palais’ burnt down in mysterious circumstances. Tony bounced back and purchased an old disused meat refrigeration plant in the heart of one of Islington High Street’s most exclusive shopping arcades. He proceeded to turn it into a palace of entertainment, the likes of which have not seen since the much lamented ‘Islington Hippodrome’ was closed when the bogs leaked into the beer cellar.
In 2015, Fat Tony was taken from this world when he was found face down on the sofa having choked on one of his beloved Vesta chicken curries. The world of showbiz mourned and among those attending his funeral were: Philip Schofield, Timmy Mallet, Big Mo from Eastenders and The Chuckle Brothers. Stephen Hawking said this in his reading at the funeral, “Fat Tony was a beacon, a shining light, I shall miss out nights out at El Pasha kebab and me wheeling him home after 12 pints at the Duck and Ferret. The lights on the clubbing universe have dimmed today, the sun is weeping, Mars is bereft and Uranus is sore’.
The mantle of taking Club de Fromage forward was taken on by Tony’s son, Slow Alfie. He continues the grand project of bringing back the glory days of night clubs, when the customer was always wrong and DJs worked part-time as milkmen. He is aided and abetted by his crack squad of performers, Team Fromage. All fugitives from rhythm and co-ordination, this team will go to the ends of the earth to entertain you, or at least as far as their bus pass will take them. Join Alfie and the gang every Saturday as he embarks on his God-given mission to get you all dancing round your handbags and trying to work out whether that woman with the perm next to you really is Bonnie Tyler or whether you’ve just had one too many and should probably go home.